Friday, May 28, 2010

Moving on......

Well everyone is telling me to move on and I am going to but I just need to say why I have been hanging on, for lack of a good phase, and that is for statements made/said by " m " like this one:

" I am learning to be myself after many years of being who someone else wanted me to be..... "

I would like to know how I was trying to make someone into something else when she was the one that wanted the D/s lifestyle for the past ten years? So with statements like that make me sound like I am the big bad wolf I needed to be around....

But, I am going to move on in any case since it seems to me that I am never going to be able to protect my good name with statements like that one and others made/said by her.

Oh, and " m ", if you want the toys that you so freely gave when you told me to get ALL the BDSM things that you packed up out of the condo and then you asked back for, I will be more than willing to give them back to you when you give me back the TV that I left that you didn't want to trade for the almost same TV model with me and is that being petty YOUR DAM RIGHT, " sucks to be you " as someone we both know would say !

So I now move on, OH and yes, SirSteve01 you can now play with her without me " interferring in my playtime " as you put it yesterday !!!

Is everyone happy now???

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Confused, of course she can change her mind, BUT??

Now, before anyone jumps on my case, I wish to state this up front: I wish all the best to " m "and that this isn't meant to hurt her in anyway, GOT IT !!!

I hear through the grapevine that " m " is doing things now that we did a long ago in our relationship, but she didn't want them even going as far as saying they were to be placed on her Hard Limit list, yet now she is doing them and is happy about doing them.....

I JUST DON'T GET IT, was it me as a Lover, as Sir, as a person>>> what before was a Hard Limit is now something she loves?????

I just don't get it and maybe I not suppose to, ever in my lifetime :-((

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Here she goes again....

Well once again morningstar, is having a temper tantrum because I had the guts to comment on a comment she had left on FetLife about silly men. I said what about women?? and you guessed it SHE DROPPED ME AS A FRIEND ONCE AGAIN !! she also blocked me from Fetlife, Blogger and Facebook, so I can't read anything she writes, but I won't go to that low level and I will allow her to read anything I write..

So be it, if she wants to act like a 2 year old in her new " Adventurous Journey " life so be it like I said before I hope she has a WONDERFUL life acting like a 2 year old.

Oh, I am sorry to all those 2 years old that act better than that......

*** If you need to comment on this post, then email directly ***

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I don't care, I am saying it any ways !!!

I know I shouldn't say anything, but I am going to any ways and if no one wants to believe me well, I don't give a Fuck !!!

I have sat back and said nothing for the past little while ( oh I did last week, but it was never posted ) regarding morningstar's ( for those who don't know, my former collared person ) new search for a better BDSM lifestyle and life in general, well today she blogged that she has found it.

Here is the part that you might not believe, but I don't care what you think, I AM SO VERY, VERY HAPPY FOR HER and it doesn't matter what happened in the past 10 years or who was right or wrong or anything else for that matter, she has FOUND her way and that is all that counts!!

WAY TO GO morningstar, have a WONDERFUL LIFE......

ps: see that " virus from hell " did some good for ya!

Sunday, May 09, 2010

The Ottawa Workshop.....

Yesterday, I drove up to Ottawa ( My Nation's Capital, of the Great White North ) to Breathless, a BDSM center and much more, to attend a workshop on " D/s and welcome to the BDSM life " presented by Lord_Omy and his slave. He started off His presentation with a little story that I have placed below, it isn't too long, but I rather think you will enjoy as I can think of a couple of people for sure. As I sat there listening to Him read it, it started Me thinking about the past 10 years with morningstar and what O/our relationship had meant and what it had become.

He then went on to talk about what He called the " 4 Keys of BDSM", (1) Open and honest communications, (2) Trust (3) Respect (4) Consent, something I think I tried to follow, with a couple mistakes along the way.

It was a very good workshop and maybe someday you too will be lucky enough to hear Lord_Omy speak on this topic.

Now, here is that story I promised you...

The Teacup - thoughts on submission

A couple vacationing in Europe went strolling down a little street and saw a quaint little shop with a beautiful teacup in the window. The lady collected teacups and she wanted this one for her collection, so she went inside to pick up the teacup and as the story goes the teacup spoke and said :
“ I want you to know that I have not always looked like this. It took the process of pain to bring me to this point. You see, there was a time when I was just clay and the Master came and he pounded me and he squeezed me and he kneaded me and I screamed: “ Stop that!”

But he just smiled and said, “ Not yet.”

Then he took me and put me on the shelf and I went round and round and round and round and while I was spining and getting dizzier and dizzier I screamed again and I said “ Please get me off this thing, please get me off!” And the Master was looking at me and he was smiling , as he said, “ Not yet.”

Then he took me and walked toward the oven and shut the door and turned up the heat and I could see him through the window of the oven and it was getting hotter and hotter and hotter and I thought, “ He’s going to burn me to death.”

And I started pounding on the inside and I said, “ Master, let me out, let me out!” I could see that he was smiling , as he said, “ Not yet.”

Then he opened the door and I was fresh and free and he took me out of the oven and he put me on the table and then he got some paint and a paintbrush. He stated dabbling on me and making swirls all over me and I started to gag and I said: “Master, stip it please, your making me gag.” He just smiled as he said, “Not yet.”

Then very gently he picked me up again and he stated walking towards the overn and I said, “ Master, no! Not again pleeeease!” He opened the over door and he slopped me inside and he shut the door and this time he turned the heat up twice as hot as before and I thought, “ He’s going to kill me!”

I looked throught the window of the oven and I started to pound saying, “ Master, Master, please let me out! Please let me out.” I could seee that he was smiling but I also noticed a tear trickle down his cheek as I watched him moutht he words, “ Not yet.”

Just as I thought I was about to die, the door opened and he reached in ever so gently and took me out, fresh and free, and he went and placed me on a high shelf and he said: “ There, I have created what I intended. Would you like to see yourself?”

I said, “ yes. “
He handed me a mirror and I looked and I looked again and I said, “ that’s not me. I’m just a lump of clay.”

He said, “ Yes, that is you, but it took the process of pain to brinf you to this place. Had I not worked you when you were clay, then you would have dried up. If I had not subjected you to the stress of the wheel you would have crumbled. If I had not out you into the heat of the oven you would have cracked. If I had not painted you there would be no color in your life. But, it was the second oven that gave you the strength to endure. Now you are everything I intedned you to be from the beginning.”

And I, the teacup, heard myself saying something I never thought I would hear myself saying, “ Master, forgive me! I did not trust you. I thought you were going to harm me. I did not know you had a glorious future and a hope for me. I was too shortsighted, but I want to thank you. I want to thank you for the suffering. I want to thank you for the process of pain. Here I am! I give you myself. Fill me, pour from me, use me as you see fit. I really want to be a vessel that brings you glory within my life.”

- - Author Unknown


I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did and got it's message.

Also, I just wanted to say My thanks to Miss Jenn for taking the time out of her always busy personal and business life to sit down and talk to Me. She is a WONDERFUL person, that I will always call My friend and if she ever calls on Me for a favor or assistance, I will be there in a shot.

Thanks Jenn, You taught Me to see things in a different light....

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Something good has come out of this mess.....

I am so glad I helped a friend in their NEW life.


I just got an email from the above friend and here is part of that email " ... I personally think you should expound on how you helped me get to where I am today. I would like that.. like to know how you see this transition.........

Go on .. I dare you !!!

Ok, I will take up this dare since it seems simply logical....

If I hadn't placed the ad requesting a bondage session for myself the whole mess wouldn't have started and thus my friend on her way to her new wonderful adventure and new thinking of her BDSM ways. Otherwise she would have come to me to talked about not enjoying the BDSM lifestyle ( or the Vanilla one too ) we were living before I place the ad.

I think this answers the dare she has placed in front of me...